This space for rent. No reasonable offer refused.

Hobbes: Do you think there is a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody’s out to get me.

— Bill Watterson

If you find yourself lost in the woods, f**k it, build a house. “Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!”

— Mitch Hedberg

After years of research, I have concluded that Americans know precisely two British cities: London, and Narnia.

— Avery Edison

"People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them." — Eric Hoffer

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

— Albert Einstein